michael's movie reviews

2024

These are the movies I reviewed in 2024.

Mufasa: The Lion King

reviewed 2024.12.27

This is an animated prequel to The Lion King, a now-thirty-year-old Disney flick. As with all prequels, it is quite unnecessary, but The Girl and I went to the theater to see it nonetheless.I enjoyed the visuals, to be sure...

Carry-On

reviewed 2024.12.14

This is a Netflix thriller about a TSA agent in the US who is coerced into helping some terrorists get a bomb aboard a commercial flight...

Spellbound

reviewed 2024.11.24

I watched this for movie night with The Girl, now aged 12...

Alien Xmas

reviewed 2024.11.11

This is an animated flick about some aliens whose entire culture revolves around theft...

The Lego Ninjago Movie

reviewed 2024.11.11

The kids suggested we watch this animated movie based on a TV series based on a series of toys from my son's early childhood...

Monster House

reviewed 2024.11.03

This is a clever animated movie featuring two nerdy boys who discover that the 'haunted house on their street' is actually possessed by an angry spirit that is capable of controlling the house to do things like eat people...

Shaun of the Dead

reviewed 2024.10.19

I watched this with the kids on Netflix because it was on a "bucket list" poster of 100 movies that I bought The Boy for X'mas last year...

Jason Bourne

reviewed 2024.10.06

The Boy and I watched this after it turned up in a Netflix search. I hadn't heard of it, but I'd showed him the original at some point so we settled in.I didn't enjoy it...

Uglies

reviewed 2024.09.21

This is a sci-f-adjacent movie about a young woman growing up in a world in which all adults undergo massive plastic surgery to achieve their ideal form. It's sort of Logan's Run affair, where something is clearly off from the outset. Soon, our girl is involved with the outsiders who are trying to overthrow the existing order.It's a mostly unambitious thing that seems to have less to say about s..

Violent Night

reviewed 2024.09.15

This is an off-beat X'mas movie about a deeply revised Santa Claus who fell into the job at some point in the 12th Century after a mortal lifetime as a Scandinavian warrior-chieftan...

Yes Man

reviewed 2024.09.07

This is a movie about a down-trodden wretch who agrees to forego saying "no" to anything...

The Union

reviewed 2024.08.31

This is a movie about an aging loser who's still plying his hometown for women and holding down a job that feels beneath his abilities. Out of the blue, an old girlfriend from high school shows up after thirty years. She involves him in a spy agency of unclear purpose and allegiance, and he joins her in the would-be exhilarating life of spy-craft. Who can't relate to wanting a second chance.The ..

Fight Club

reviewed 2024.08.21

This is a movie about an insomniac insurance adjuster who is locked in a consumerist distraction...

Kingsman: The Golden Circle

reviewed 2024.08.17

After a generally good first "Kingsman" movie, the second was a chaotic mess...

The Big Lebowski

reviewed 2024.08.17

This is a noir film about a loser has the same name as a crook who is involved in a plot to steal a million dollars...

The Truman Show

reviewed 2024.08.16

I watched this nineties movie with my kids, in part because it was on the "movie bucket list" we gave our son...

Deadpool and Wolverine

reviewed 2024.08.12

This is a movie about a washed-up one-time semi-heroic character with a mutant healing ability that lets him bounce back all but immediately from almost any injury...

Ultraman: Rising

reviewed 2024.08.05

This is a story in which the mantle of Japan's Ultraman super-protector is passed on to a new generation...

Nope

reviewed 2024.08.04

This is a story about a family of horse-trainers who formerly had a good livelihood providing horses for Hollywood. They're no longer in favor, however, and are on hard times. Then the aliens make their presence known with a harrowing attack on the farmstead that seemingly takes one of the horses.What follows is a fairly original story in which the main mystery is puzzled out...

Inside Out Two

reviewed 2024.08.03

This is an animated movie about some conceptual figures that live in a girl's head...

Alien

reviewed 2024.07.22

This is the classic tale of the crew of a space tug hauling an ore refinery back to the human home solar system. They've been out for several months and are surprised to find that they have been diverted to a new destination because their ship picked up a distress signal.Famously, they find something on the world broadcasting the warning signal, but it's too late...

Orion and the Dark

reviewed 2024.07.14

We watched this animated Netflix movie for movie night. It's about a boy who is afraid of the dark and winds up meeting the spirit of nocturnal darkness who circles the globe endlessly bringing relief from the relentless sun. The spirit, called "Dark" is accompanied by a number of lesser spirits with certain abilities. They take the boy on a ride around the world.I enjoyed the innovative animati..

Lift

reviewed 2024.07.07

It is so hot outside that no one wants to go out for any reason. And so it is that I wound up watching this heist movie on Netflix.It's splashy, it's high-pace, and the scenes and settings are generally interesting...

Constantine

reviewed 2024.07.01

I watched this with The Boy for movie night. I believe it was on his "bucket list" poster of 100 movies.This is at least my third viewing of this movie and I have to say it keeps growing on me...

Uncharted

reviewed 2024.06.29

For movie night, The Girl and I watched this harmless action flick. It's about a young man whose brother has disappeared while searching for a lost treasure. He is approached by someone who was working with his brother when he fell off the face of the planet. Can our young hero trust the older, not-as-smart-as-he-thinks former partner of his brother? Will he find any closure for his brother?Long..

Brightburn

reviewed 2024.06.22

The premise of this movie is that a foundling turns up at a farm, and as he grows up he is found to have special powers. Just like Superman. But instead of a heroic, selfless character, the boy turns into a monster.I think they almost pulled this off...

Safe House

reviewed 2024.06.15

This is an action flick about a young CIA operative who mans a "safe house" that goes disused week after week. Suddenly, a high-value asset is brought to the safe house, followed almost immediately by an invasion by unknown parties.I enjoyed this early on, but its various problems begin to wear as it progresses...

Furiosa

reviewed 2024.06.15

The Girl and I saw this in an IMAX cinema today...

I Lost My Body

reviewed 2024.06.09

This is a stylish and disturbing anime from France...

Nightbooks

reviewed 2024.06.09

This is a story about two kids held captive by a witch in the towering apartment building where the boy lives/lived with his parents...

Fall

reviewed 2024.06.08

At some point, perhaps around the time I became a parent, I developed a strong aversion to heights...

Meg 2: The Trench

reviewed 2024.06.02

This is a worthy sequel to the surprisingly good "high concept" movie about the return of the prehistoric Otodus Megaladon to the seas...

JUNG_E

reviewed 2024.05.31

This is a Korean sci-fi flick about a near future that while not a crap-sack world is certainly a dystopian place...

City Hunter

reviewed 2024.05.06

This is a live-action Japanese cop buddy movie that dispenses with one of the buddies fairly early on, leaving us with a smug, womanizing annoyance who feels like he stepped out of a piece filmed in the early eighties...

Smile

reviewed 2024.05.06

This is a tense horror movie that lays it on so thick our twelve-year-old (who chose it!) pulled the plug after perhaps half an hour...

Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning

reviewed 2024.04.27

This is the latest in the literally never-ending series of action movies about a fictional quasi-governmental spy agency that cleans up after the Pentagon. I had high hopes because the previous installation - the sixth in the series - was excellent.I'm sorry to say that the magic does not repeat, and it's not close...

Spider-Man: No Way Home

reviewed 2024.04.25

This is yet another Marvel super-hero movie featuring Spider-Man. This time around, the titular character finds himself beset by villains who are new to him but all seem to presume they know him. The young man works out that they're falling into our timeline because of a stunt he pulled with a magic device (in a previous movie) and he's quickly in over his head.Of course, it's not long before th..

Spaceman

reviewed 2024.04.22

This is a nicely-paced science fiction story about a solo astronaut from the Czech Republic who is on a mission to investigate a strange feature that has appeared somewhere in Earth-observable space...

Minions: The Rise of Gru

reviewed 2024.04.14

This is an animated prequel to the movie Despicable Me from ... 14 years ago! It features the sequence of events by which the "super-villain" of the original movie became who is is. As with all prequels, it is unnecessary and also quite stilted as events have to have a certain outcome so that the original movie can happen.And so, what unfolds is a nonsensical plot involving some magical s..

Stand By Me

reviewed 2024.04.06

After more than thirty years, I finally saw this mid-'80s classic about four boys who set off to find a body in the woods. It's both a coming-of-age story and the tale of the main character, who is dealing with the loss of his all-star older brother.It's well told, but there's something wrong at the center of this thing...

Damsel

reviewed 2024.03.23

Another movie night, and another selection by The Girl...

The Last Padawan

reviewed 2024.03.08

I watched the first release of this series a few years ago. Youtube just suggested the sequel.It is simply astounding how well this is made...

Godzilla -1.0

reviewed 2024.02.23

This is a Gojira movie from Toho, the originators of the genre...

Predator

reviewed 2024.02.19

For "movie night" we watched this old gem in honor of the passing of Carl Weathers...

Night at the Museum

reviewed 2024.02.12

Tonight we watched this kids' movie about a down-on-his-luck divorced father taking a night job so that he can remain a part of his son's life. The job is to be night watchman at a museum. On his first night, he experiences the magical coming to life of the various animals and figures in the museum. He loses his instructions, he loses his keys, and wonders if he is losing his mind.We enjoyed it...

The Good The Bad and The Ugly

reviewed 2024.02.12

This is an antique* anti-war western with a stellar cast, sharp writing, and about forty minutes more run-time than it needs...

John Wick: Chapter 4

reviewed 2024.01.26

The Boy and I watched this, perhaps to see it through as much as anything...

Appaloosa

reviewed 2024.01.22

This is a Western about two men who hire themselves out as law enforcement muscle in the western territories of the US in the late 19th Century...

Chicken Run: Dawn of the Nugget

reviewed 2024.01.20

This is an animated movie from the lunatics at Aardman...

The Rhythm Section

reviewed 2024.01.12

I came across this odd movie in one of our streaming services and despite its mediocre ratings on IMDB, gave it a chance...

For a Few Dollars More

reviewed 2024.01.03

This is the sequel to the gritty and seminal "Fistful of Dollars"...

rand()m quote

If I had my life to live over, I'd try to make more mistakes next time. I would relax, I would limber up, I would be crazier than I've been on this trip. I know very few things I'd take seriously any more. I'd certainly be less hygenic... I would take more chances, I would take more trips, I would scale more mountains, I would swim more rivers, and I would watch more sunsets. I would eat more ice cream and fewer beans. I would have more actual troubles and fewer imaginary ones. Oh, I've had my moments, and if I had to do it all over again, I'd have many more of them, in fact I'd try not to have anything else, just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of my day. If I had it to do all over again, I'd travel lighter, much lighter than I have. I would start barefoot earlier in the spring, and I'd stay that way later in the fall. And I would ride more merry-go-rounds, and catch more gold rings, and greet more people and pick more flowers and dance more often. If I had it to do all over again - but you see, I don't.

Jorge Luis Borges