michael's movie reviews

Avoid

Mission: Impossible

reviewed 2023.08.23

Once upon a time I watched "Mission Impossible II" and did not like it. That was a very, very long time ago and I thought I was done with these films. I certainly had never seen the first one.But then I wound up seeing the 6th in the series after it got a lot of surprise good reviews, and I was happily surprised to realize tha..

Black Hole

reviewed 2023.07.08

Tonight I watched this 1979 sci-fi movie with my brother and sister-in-law. I always like a good derelict story, but this ain't that. Its crimes, in descending order of magnitude were:

  1. tell, don't show: several key things are explained to us that would have had much more impact if shown...

    Dungeons and Dragons

    reviewed 2023.01.23

    There's a new Dungeons and Dragons movie coming out, and it looks pretty good...

    Gremlins

    reviewed 2021.12.17

    I showed the kids this '80s classic movie tonight...

    Zack Snyder's Justice League

    reviewed 2021.11.20

    This movie is four hours long...

    Red Notice

    reviewed 2021.11.19

    Sometimes, Hollywood will make a movie simply by assembling a leading cast and letting them do their usual shtick...

    Pets United

    reviewed 2021.09.05

    Once in a while my daughter and I try to watch something for "Movie Night" that turns out to be unwatchable...

    Bumblebee

    reviewed 2019.09.25

    This past few years sure has produced a lot of prequels and spinoffs...

    Solo: A Star Wars Story

    reviewed 2018.12.25

    This is a Star Wars prequel that needless attempts to tell Han Solo's back-story...

    Django Unchained

    reviewed 2018.07.23

    Everyone loves this thing, it's current rating on imdb on 8...

    London Has Fallen

    reviewed 2018.02.24

    This is an action movie, a follow-up of sorts to another with a similar title and the same bluff lead. It's not good. It's just not good.In fact, I'll summarize it like this: there is one mostly-excellent action sequence mid-way that you can probably find on Youtube...

    Avengers: Age of Ultron

    reviewed 2016.07.14

    This is yet another Super Hero movie that my kids were interested in for "movie night"...

    Bee Movie

    reviewed 2012.12.25

    This is an animated movie set in a bee hive...

    Knocked Up

    reviewed 2009.07.11

    I honestly have no idea what all the buzz is about with this thing...

    Fantastic Four

    reviewed 2005.06.11

    This is a silly example of the self-indulgent genre of super-hero movies. Being as cookie-cutter as its kind can get, I found it not interesting and barely made it through it. I won't bother describing the plot, tonality, characters, dialog and so on, it's all just cringe-worthy and/or dull. (How do they keep getting Doctor Doom so wrong.)I wonder if the fact that there are four of them is the p..

    Rat Race

    reviewed 2001.10.28

    Well, I finally did it. I walked out of a movie. We went for Heidi's birthday, but gave up after half an hour.If at all possible, I heartily recommend avoiding this film at all costs...

    AI, Artificial Intelligence

    reviewed 2001.09.01

    This is the longest write-up I have ever (or will ever do). Enjoy/Endure as desired.I've just finished watching a downloaded copy of "AI" that appears to have been filmed in a movie theatre in Singapore (perhaps). It seems to have subtitles in Chinese and something like Malay or Thai or Bahasa Indonesian (in roman charactes).Anyway, I have to strongly advise that you never see it, if it isn't..

    Replacement Killers

    reviewed 1998.02.06

    Awful...

    Fled

    reviewed 1997.01.13

    Minutes into this one, we were savaging it...

rand()m quote

I asked my doctor to give me something to stop me from aging, and he gave me a gun.

—Rodney Dangerfield