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fare well, beloved Gill

the journal of Michael Werneburg

twenty-eight years and a million words

Toronto, 2016.10.04

Gill, our 9-10 year old angel fish, has died. He was a resident with us for some five years, nearly five and a half. I don't know what killed him, but he was flagging pretty badly toward the end. Never a fish with a lot of meat on him, he'd become skinnier and lost some luster while seemingly becoming tougher. Like watching Iggy Pop age.

At the very end, the black skirt tetras had begun to pick on poor ol' Gill. I transferred the poor fish to our smaller tank, but it was the end of the line. Healing from the ravages of the other fish, he looked better for a couple of days, but then we found him on the bottom of the tank. Still slowly breathing, but with the pleco sucking the slime of his skin!

This is a fish that survived 36C water for three days when a heater malfunctioned during a heat wave in August. It came to us from my friend Richard Seabright, along with a small number of other mature fish. Two of those died in an earlier August heat wave (our A/C wasn't working at all at the time), and the third had to go back to the pet store (a clown loach that had gone a little nuts without any similar fish, and had become a relentless fin-nipper and rowdy bully). So Gill was something of a marker for me; at least I could keep *something* alive.

I put him down. But I still expect to see him when I walk through the door!

rand()m quote

If I had my life to live over, I'd try to make more mistakes next time. I would relax, I would limber up, I would be crazier than I've been on this trip. I know very few things I'd take seriously any more. I'd certainly be less hygenic... I would take more chances, I would take more trips, I would scale more mountains, I would swim more rivers, and I would watch more sunsets. I would eat more ice cream and fewer beans. I would have more actual troubles and fewer imaginary ones. Oh, I've had my moments, and if I had to do it all over again, I'd have many more of them, in fact I'd try not to have anything else, just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of my day. If I had it to do all over again, I'd travel lighter, much lighter than I have. I would start barefoot earlier in the spring, and I'd stay that way later in the fall. And I would ride more merry-go-rounds, and catch more gold rings, and greet more people and pick more flowers and dance more often. If I had it to do all over again - but you see, I don't.

Jorge Luis Borges