journal features

movie review - The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

the journal of Michael Werneburg

twenty-seven years and one million words

Toronto, 2016.03.08

Well, we got it over with, today. After watching the finale in part two, with the death of Smaug, we're left with a big inter-racial battle to deal with. Because all of this came *after* "The Lord of the Rings" it's hard to take seriously the notion that humans, dwarves, and elves would be slaughtering each other, especially when one of the armies involved is a truly endless wave of violent, irrational, corrupted goblins.

I really felt like we were watching it just to see it through, which is not a great reason to watch a movie. But I came *out* of the experience feeling that the movie had in fact been *made* just to see it through, which I believe is much worse. It was beautifully made but without the menace of the dragon behind it all it just became rather rote. I mean do we believe that the goblins are going to win?

Not recommended.

rand()m quote

If I had my life to live over, I'd try to make more mistakes next time. I would relax, I would limber up, I would be crazier than I've been on this trip. I know very few things I'd take seriously any more. I'd certainly be less hygenic... I would take more chances, I would take more trips, I would scale more mountains, I would swim more rivers, and I would watch more sunsets. I would eat more ice cream and fewer beans. I would have more actual troubles and fewer imaginary ones. Oh, I've had my moments, and if I had to do it all over again, I'd have many more of them, in fact I'd try not to have anything else, just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of my day. If I had it to do all over again, I'd travel lighter, much lighter than I have. I would start barefoot earlier in the spring, and I'd stay that way later in the fall. And I would ride more merry-go-rounds, and catch more gold rings, and greet more people and pick more flowers and dance more often. If I had it to do all over again - but you see, I don't.

—Jorge Luis Borges