journal features

fleeing the winged sales baboon

the journal of Michael Werneburg

twenty-eight years and a million words

Toronto, 2014.03.04

Today I rid myself of a bank that doesn't understand its basic function. That function is to provide me with banking services in a manner that makes me want to continue to do business with them. This bank failed, because it routinely blundered when I made simple requests, losing paperwork and doing the wrong thing when it did anything at all. It compounded the problem by having its army of winged sales baboons harass us at home and on mobile phones, morning noon and night. A constant shrieking and wailing that got so bad we took out the caller display service on our phone, and bought a phone that could display the details. That's a lot to go through to protect yourself from your own bank!

That bank was CIBC, and I no longer have those three bank accounts and a line of credit with them.

sales baboon, artist's rendering

rand()m quote

If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until you can hardly bear to look at it. A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts it will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.

—Roald Dahl