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movie review - Van Helsing

the journal of Michael Werneburg

twenty-seven years and one million words

Toronto, 2004.11.08

Somewhere in this movie lurked the remains of a more intelligent, better-written movie. Flashes of this other, better movie remained, but they were sadly few and far between. It was like someone wrote in a vampire-hunter movie, and then a room full of suits said, "Great! Now we'll add a side-kick that's a genius with designing weapons, replace random bits of the storytelling with explosions, and sprinkle liberally with push-up-bras!

The good bits that got left behind: the fundamental bits of Van Helsing's past (which, sadly, was butchered into being effectively untold); the dynamic between the prince and princess (thought they'd do a lot more with that); Frankenstein's monster (the only good guy in the movie); the idea of vampire babies (again, underutilized).

Not recommended.

rand()m quote

The nuclear arms race is like two sworn enemies standing waist deep in gasoline, one with three matches, the other with five.

—Carl Sagan