journal features

life in Toronto

the journal of Michael Werneburg

twenty-seven years and one million words

Toronto, 1997.03.05

I've been living in Toronto for two years, as of today. I'm not sure where I'm going or what I've been up to, I have to say. My student debt is unexpectedly paid off thanks to a surprise intervention from my father, and I'm no longer earning minimum wage, but I'm not exactly getting ahead. Given all the overtime I'm working I feel like I'm treading water, working, drinking, watching movies, back to work. Few of my friends - and all are people I met at the office - even have a girlfriend in this strangely uptight and hostile city.

I feel the need for a change.

rand()m quote

One day you will take a fork in the road, and you're going to have to make a decision about which direction you want to go. If you go one way, you can be somebody. You will have to make compromises and you will have to turn your back on your friends. But you will be a member of the club and you will get promoted and get good assignments. Or you can go the other way and you can do something [...] for yourself. If you decide to do something, you may not get promoted and get good assignments and you certainly will not be a favorite of your superiors. But you won't have to compromise yourself. To be somebody or to do something. In life there is often a roll call. That's when you have to make a decision. To be or to do.

—John Boyd, US Air Force