journal features

movie review - Home Alone 2

the journal of Michael Werneburg

twenty-seven years and one million words

Toronto, 2017.12.19

We recently showed the kids the movie Home Alone and I stupidly mentioned a sequel. In this one, the moronic parents do it again, leaving behind their beloved Kevin in a transparently stupid way. This time, the kid winds up in New York City and has an extremely implausibly OK time of being a lost child in early '90s New York. And of course he runs into the two would-be thieves from the first movie. And hi-jinks ensue. I mean even Kevin's New York uncle is out of town when the kid turns up at his brownstone. They limit the peril of the poor kid, and he's fine by himself which presents a really sanitized version of the city where visitors could have their cars stolen or be themselves held up at knife-point. I guess to remind us where we are, Donald Trump puts in an appearance, barely delivering a single line. I guess Kevin's lucky he wasn't female.

Anyway, the always watchable Tim Curry provides the only bright sparks in an otherwise dull and unnecessary movie. The man just seems to love it went a project's gone off the rails as this must obviously have done before it started.

Not recommended.

rand()m quote

If I had my life to live over, I'd try to make more mistakes next time. I would relax, I would limber up, I would be crazier than I've been on this trip. I know very few things I'd take seriously any more. I'd certainly be less hygenic... I would take more chances, I would take more trips, I would scale more mountains, I would swim more rivers, and I would watch more sunsets. I would eat more ice cream and fewer beans. I would have more actual troubles and fewer imaginary ones. Oh, I've had my moments, and if I had to do it all over again, I'd have many more of them, in fact I'd try not to have anything else, just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of my day. If I had it to do all over again, I'd travel lighter, much lighter than I have. I would start barefoot earlier in the spring, and I'd stay that way later in the fall. And I would ride more merry-go-rounds, and catch more gold rings, and greet more people and pick more flowers and dance more often. If I had it to do all over again - but you see, I don't.

—Jorge Luis Borges