journal features

movie review - Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

the journal of Michael Werneburg

twenty-seven years and one million words

Toronto, 2016.12.23

Which aristocrat will marry which daughter? Or will the zombies win out, having already over-run 95% of the UK. Will the modern viewer be able to tolerate the sexism and patriarchy woven into the story of half a dozen ass-kicking warrior women?

I thought I'd enjoy this more than I did and found that the whole thing just didn't work. As a fan of Doctor Who I was delighted to see Matt Smith playing an insufferable ass of a priest. Other than that, I was rooting for the zombies fairly early on. (And spoiler alert, I think in the mid-credits scene that's what was implied.)

Not recommended.

rand()m quote

If I had my life to live over, I'd try to make more mistakes next time. I would relax, I would limber up, I would be crazier than I've been on this trip. I know very few things I'd take seriously any more. I'd certainly be less hygenic... I would take more chances, I would take more trips, I would scale more mountains, I would swim more rivers, and I would watch more sunsets. I would eat more ice cream and fewer beans. I would have more actual troubles and fewer imaginary ones. Oh, I've had my moments, and if I had to do it all over again, I'd have many more of them, in fact I'd try not to have anything else, just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of my day. If I had it to do all over again, I'd travel lighter, much lighter than I have. I would start barefoot earlier in the spring, and I'd stay that way later in the fall. And I would ride more merry-go-rounds, and catch more gold rings, and greet more people and pick more flowers and dance more often. If I had it to do all over again - but you see, I don't.

—Jorge Luis Borges