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second secret bonus level of fatherhood

the journal of Michael Werneburg

twenty-seven years and one million words

Toronto, 2013.12.21

Today I made The Boy laugh milk through his nose. I suggested to Mari that I bathe one of the kids. She said, "Are you well enough?" because I have a funny stomach bug that involved exhaustion and oddly mild nausea. I said, "Yes, well enough to bathe one." I turned to The Boy and told him, "Which do want to bathe with?" meaning either his mother or me. He pointed at his little sister. "Fine, you bathe her," I told him. "I'll bathe your mother."

That's when it happened.

rand()m quote

Meaning is not something you stumble across, like the answer to a riddle or the prize in a treasure hunt. Meaning is something you build into your life. You build it out of your own past, out of your affections and loyalties, out of the experience of humankind as it is passed on to you, out of your own talent and understanding, out of the things you believe in, out of the things and people you love, out of the values for which you are willing to sacrifice something. The ingredients are there. You are the only one who can put them together into that unique pattern that will be your life. Let it be a life that has dignity and meaning for you. If it does, then the particular balance of success or failure is of less account.

—John Gardner