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I got into a bar fight (yes, me)

the journal of Michael Werneburg

twenty-seven years and one million words

Sydney, 2001.02.23

I got us kicked out of a bar, last night, for getting into a stupid little fight with some assholes.

Sara and I were sitting on a small balcony that overlooks the street. The weather was perfect, it was just around 6 PM, and everything was fine. Then these jerks turn up, and start crowding onto the tiny balcony, yelling to their friends on the street, etc. One of them turns up and spits over us and over the balcony.

I stood up to face him, and the next thing I know, he's got a hand on my shirt and snarling at me (he was drunk already at that time). So I shoved him across the empty space behind him, where he collided with his buddies, knocking over their table and drinks and generally pissing off everyone in the bar.

He came back, his one friend demanding a drink from me. I told his friend I didn't give a f*ck about his drink, and then I was nose to nose with the lead asshole again, and he said "me and my four mates are going to take care of you." I laughed in his face, and said, "Oh, tough guy, eh? You need your four mates?" He jabbed me in the chest, and I grabbed him to throw him on the floor.

It gets a little blurry after that, but I recall being thrown back against the flimsy railing to the place. Then I grabbed him by the throat and dug my thumb into the point below the jawline, and shoved him off of me. Then there was Sara punching the guy in the face (she said that she asked his friends to get him off of me while he was trying to push me over the railing).

Then we were back inside, and I was shoving the guy again, and he and his friend were grabbing Sara, so I had to grab them off of her, and then there were bouncers everywhere.

Everyone in the crowd started acting like nothing had happened, except for Sara and I, who answered the head bouncer's questions. When that bouncer yelled 'Who spit?' in a rage, I knew the matter was settled, and the last I saw of the lead asshole was a flailing collection of limbs tumbling down the stairs as a 250 lb bouncer held him with one hand.

Anyway, one of his friends apologized for his behavior, said they would have gotten involved if they'd known what he'd done (although one of them at least had been standing right there and seen everything). Then the lead bouncer corralled us out the back way.

The whole thing sucks. I wound up with a damaged shoulder (amazingly, not the one I pulled at the gym two weeks ago). I guess that's what I get for tangling with a kid who's both taller than me (!) and younger by five years.

rand()m quote

The wise are instructed by reason, average minds by experience, the stupid by necessity and the brute by instinct.

—Marcus Tullius Cicero