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a funeral and a realization

the journal of Michael Werneburg

twenty-eight years and a million words

St. Catharines, 1999.03.06

It was my grandfather's funeral, today. I received a surprise invitation to speak at the funeral. Here is what I said. I knew this was coming for some time, it was clear a year ago already that the man was in pain. And I'll never forget the look of fear and loneliness in his eyes as he watched us leave his house for what would prove to be the last time we did so as he lived.

His is one of a number of deaths my girlfriend and I have experienced lately. We're coming to the opinion that now is the time if we want to see something of this world.

rand()m quote

The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to such a pass that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love, and in order to occupy and distract himself without love he gives way to passions and coarse pleasures, and sinks to bestiality in his vices, all from continual lying to other men and to himself.

—Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov